Tenebrous' 5 Word Story

Plurk is, according to its front page, "a place that lets you publish and share your thoughts emo-ness, #^@%!*%(& and loves." It's very similar to Twitter, but with the added advantage that each post can have a series of follow-up plurks, forming a conversation.

Last night, Tenebrous started a "5 word story", in which each person, in turn, adds 5 words to the story. We thought it would be fun to share the end result with everyone, so here it is:

He turned his back and
looked out of the window
and gasped, for outside was
a Rickrolling Plurk Twitter Whore,
wearing only a diaphanous gown
and a large, blue, fluffy
t-shirt with chains and bells,
blinging her way down to
her dead friend's funeral ceremony.

But then, along the way,
the wind lifted her skirt
and to the surprise of
the tall, elderly gentleman nearby,
the woman was wearing only
a string of pearls thong.

The gentleman stopped and said,
"Excuse me miss, but do
you know if those are
kumquats? If so may I
please check them for ripeness?"

The woman smiled, and said,
“My dear sir, why I
really don't believe these are
kumquats, however I worry that
they haven't been squeezed in
quite some time would you
be so kind as to
touch them, but be gentle?”

She grinned shyly, touched his
arm and led him to
a quiet spot around the
corner, out of sight of
the officer on the corner
who seems to be watching.

The gentleman felt something stir;
turned around to find that
another young woman watched them
from behind a bush, although
she clearly was quite aroused
and wearing nothing but a
smile, umbrella and also a
pair of shiny rain boots
that reached all the way
to the top of her
white, ribbon-trimmed, lacy and
pink knee protectors. She said,
“I have a small brown
mole just behind my right
knee that seems to itch
whenever she is excited or
the moon is full or
I open this umbrella.” She
then proceeded to lift and
open her umbrella with a wink,
when out from inside fell
something small and black and
shiny, yet glowing an odd
unearthly shade of yellow-green
spinning slowly, floating gently to
where he proceeded to take
photos with it. The camera
already held special photos of
his young, gold digging wife
who was away with her
mining company on business. He
knew the time was now
from the built in clock.

In the photos she is
in a rather compromising position
posed with ducks, chickens and
doing fowl deeds. He thought
I might care to join
blackmail would be quite possible
if the angle's are right.

Then again, art galleries might
call the police if they
liked men in uniforms.

Then the gentleman noticed that
the two women were suddenly
interrupted by the appearance of
three blind mice and a
seeing eye dog. "Zounds!" cried
the pearl-thonged woman, who
clambered up the nearest tree
in hopes of escaping them.

The blind mice squeaked and
ran up her bare legs
gnawing on her pearled thong
, which suddenly came loose and
cascaded down her thighs landing
on the ground, revealing her
odd lack of genitalia. She
blushed and covered herself up.

But not before the gentleman
revealed that he too was
lacking in the genitalia department.

The mice ran down her
leg in utter disgust when
a dog ran up and
stuck out his long tongue
wetly slurping the gentleman's hand
although, they were strangely aroused.

It was getting late, and
he was late for tea.

The old gentleman whipped out
a PDA and checked his
supply list. IM'd his dealer,
and arranged a delivery of
four small but perfectly formed
cheeses, perfect for covering in
a warm fluffy dog blanket
before reading them a story
about a man who turned
his back and looked out
on a sea of lost
blind mice and umbrellas. I
wonder if this story will
ever bloody reach it's natural

END

...cause it's an addictive format...
which lends itself to many
many many many many many
yet very few occurrences of
actual intelligence. In fact, it's
almost anti-intelligence in the way
that it keeps going from
bad to worse. However if
one of the three blind
umbrella holding mice were to
suddenly disappear in a cloud of
foul, noxious smelling gas, then
my boss is around. This
is probably going to end
sooner rather than later!
If only there was a
sequel in the pipeline, that
would make it easier to
make a sequel!



Many thanks to Tenebrous for starting this, and to all those that contributed, namely: Rammi, MadameMaracas, jjacek, sdohrn, ArminasX, Michaelcela, Damien Fate, gabbypanacek, Argent, spiderkitten, toniroffo, BigMonkey and myself.

You can see the original Plurk thread here.