Monday, 30 June 2008

My Tarot Card

I saw this on Roxette Wise's blog and since I've always been a little curious about tarot cards and all things related, I was interested to try it myself.

I think that it's actually surprisingly accurate...

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight.

You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love.

Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Tenebrous' 5 Word Story - With Multiple Characters!

Tenebrous shared a new kind of 5 word story. In this version, people’s names were part of the story. You could type as much as you wanted, but you had to start with your name!

Here's the finished product:

Tenebrous looked around. He was alone. Suddenly, the phone rang. It was
tmcamp calling to say that he'd just talked to
Damien Fate. He asked “Hey, have you seen
Tenebrous? – but I am he! Maybe you’re thinking about
MadameMaracas, she’s been plurking up a storm?”
tmcamp laughed at the story, and wondered if
Damien Fate had gone on a date with
Madame Maracas? She never heard the phone ring when
Tardis had ended up floating in space with
Tenebrous, who quickly called for help. Unfortunately, no-one was available, apart from
MadameMaracas’ pet hedgehog, Ralphie, who cleverly IM’d
Tenebrous, who quickly called for help. Sensing the strange time-loop, he sent a letter backwards in time. Due to poor planning, it arrived with
MadameMaracas’ parents just as they were meeting on a blind date. They ignored the plea for help, distracted by the sudden appearance of
DakotaB, who pranced around wearing a strange purple outfit, designed by
MadameMaracas, their as yet unconceived child.
Tenebrous (back in the future) picked up his phone again. He needed someone to talk to, and the first person who came to mind was
DakotaB, who was at the hairdressers, having her barnett carefully styled so that it looked like a life size replica of
Tenebrous 's favourite work by the infamous topiary artist
MadameMaracas, who styles her work after the fictional Edward Scissorhands, having been pointed in this odd career direction by
Damien Fate when he was giving a lecture on odd films made by
Tenebrous ' old friend, Dr. Mithril. However, in recent years the good doctor had fallen on bad times and had been forced to change his name to
Damien Fate, which Damien thought was a little creepy, especially since Damien himself had changed his name to Damien Fate. He was once known as
MadameMaracas , which violated NO copyright laws, nor trademark rulings but created a rift with
Tenebrous ™. It was a sorry state of affairs, but one that could only be solved by the cunning prowess of
JohanYugen , who announced that people couldn't trademark their names. This pleased
MadameMaracas as she'd not bothered to do this against the advice of
Tenebrous ™, who was used to this and therefore resorted to using © and ®. He picked up his phone again and called
jjacek , who loved to offer questionable legal advice to all her friends. Citing the example of
Damien Fate vs
MadameMaracas , where legal precedent was set for the use of the term "Pixel slapping" in the defense of
jjacek , who was on trial for having a sexy mudwrestling contest with
JessykaRichard . The referee of the match,
jjacek , who also happened to be judge at the trial, was not very fair. She sentenced
JessykaRichard to 5 years of hard labor. At the work camp, she found herself chained to
jjacek , who had sentenced herself to 5 years of hard labor, for corruption for serving as judge at her own trial. At the work camp, she and
JessykaRichard devised a plan to escape and open a stand selling
Damien Fate’s body. One of the first customers was
JessykaRichard , as she couldn't resist the charms of her own product. As she was sampling her wares,
jjacek pointed out that they were still chained together, so she suggested that the two of them go on a crazy adventure. Along the way, they met
JessykaRichard 's long lost cousin
Tenebrous who declared that the story was over. It wasn't long, however before that was ruined by
CoyotePace who, slinking around the corner and seeing no one was about, re-introduced Ralphie the Hedgehog to the story -- much to the delight of
Damien Fate who had also been absent for a while. All because he was occupied with
MadameMaracas and her litter of bionic kittens that she bought from
Tenebrous , which seems to be a popular name in these parts, almost as everyone in the town is called Tenebrous, much like in the next-door village of
jjacek Land, everybody is called jjacek. Ralphie the Hedgehog loved to snuggle with
MadameMaracas and she enjoyed his prickly snugglings! Meanwhile, across town a plot was hatching, whereby
Tenebrous and
MadameMaracas will cover all the world's Volkswagens left rear tires with Vaseline, however this clever concept of confusion & traffic horror was foiled by
Tenebrous 's own stupidity. Everyone knows that there is a national shortage of Vaseline and rubber, mainly caused by
MadameMaracas 's wardrobe requirements.

Many thanks to Tenebrous, Tmcamp, Damien Fate, MadameMaracas, Tardis, Johan Yugen, Jjacek, JessykaRichard, Coyote Pace and me.

Thursday, 26 June 2008

The Famous 5 Word Stories of Tenebrous

Can be found here:

Number 1

Number 2

Number 3

Number 4

Tenebrous' 5 Word Stories - Number 4

See the original Plurk conversation here!

Many thanks to: Tenebrous, spiderkitten, michaelcela, jjacek, MadameMaracas, CoyotePace, Eladrienne, JustJ3nn, JessykaRichard, artoudeetou, rachael823, DaleInnis, kurtvan, LyndzayM, RedRoseRattus, Damien_Fate, (and me!).

The sea was rough, and
rolling with a big, scary
rubber ducky floating on top
that squeaked with glee, happy
that Glee was joining him.

Glee waved from his sailboat,
pulling the tiller to align
the warp core vertically with
the nacelles, to ensure that
his exit would be precisely
timed to coincide with the
entropic failure of the singularity.

If his timing was off
the entire vessel would be
converted instantaneously into a hedgehog,
which would be a disaster,
since a hedgie's bitty paws
get cold when they're wet, making them cuter, but less
effective sprinters. Luckily, Glee's timing
was perfect, and the sailboat
....which was actually a sailBOAT
that transforms into a robot
was able to travel from
the event horizon off into
the Delta quadrant, quite speedily.

Luckily, the SailBoat could also
make coffee and tea but
not at the same time.
In space, no one drinks
urine, but why would they?

'Golden showers' are difficult without
gravity as it becomes random
and can be quite a nuisance.
So the "sailbot" turned and
turned, making a giant whirlpool,
generating a gravity well that
sucked in all the katamari balls
that had collected nearby planets.

"Reverse the polarity!" cried the
man with two left shoes
as he limped about the
cabin in a polka step,
his flouncy skirt bouncing about.

The chief engineer flipped the
switch; time to get serious.

In his clown wig and shoes,
A deep rumbling thrummm noise
alerted him to a digestion
problem in his "lower decks".

By "lower decks", we mean
the ship's large and rather rotund
buttocks, or rather, bot-tocks. He
grabbed the ship's key and
forced it longingly into the
ambiguously sexually-suggestive key slot
with a sigh of relief.

The console sighed with satisfaction
while the captain turned the
knobs upstairs attentively. The temperature
actually fell; everyone had deserted
and humidity started to rise
after they had their desserts
which consisted of runny custard
and funny mustard. It tasted
of custardly mustard, an acquired
recipe stolen from a group
of robotic cooks, renowned for
their lack of taste sensors.

Meanwhile, on the lower decks,
the containment field was leaking
a strange pink concoction, seen
dribbling slowly from between the
secondary engine core and the
large inflatable sheep. It was
trickling nonchalantly across the floor
like a sinuous, luminous trail
leading towards the ship's cat,
Flibble, who was currently under
a giant pile of underpants
left there by the melon
keepers son, who recently had
a bad case of gonorrhoea
which he caught from Annie
Lennox at a recent musical
recital on board the HMS
Glee, coincidentally his owner's name.

The night was closing in...
But in space, it's always
quiet; no-one hears you plurk.

Having a case of space
Plurk addiction is very serious
and difficult to cure, however
bananas have been known to
heal the lesion but also
make your skin break out
in large, yellow, fluffy pickled
in fuschia boils with black
centres that smell of cheese.

When lanced, small moths emerge
which tend to clutter spaceships
exhausts. This causes problems with
emissions testing, huge moth nets
tear easily when subjected to
large flocks of moths. Suddenly
out of the closet, came
Jim Carry, and he said
here is your money back
for watching my horrible movies
apart from Truman Show which
is pretty decent. Jim then
pulled a trademark face and
in a dorky voice, proclaimed
his ass was now speaking,
he bent over and clenched
both buttocks, asking "Anyone have
a breath mint? I am
full of garlicy saucy goodness!”

Glee shook his head, feeling
faint, overcome by Jim's fumes.

He'd been hallucinating, imagining he
woke up in a very
long winded 5 word story.

This story haunted his dreams,
pervading into his very being,
oozing orange goo out his
nozzle. He tried ferverantly to
unscrew the implement, however it
snapped off in his hand,
causing him to exclaim, "Bunny -
rabbit smell bad!" To this
Glee replied, no, Hare balls!

Tenebrous' 5 Word Stories - Number 3

See the original Plurk conversation here!

Many thanks to: Tenebrous, Loaf, GingerSho, rotemu, rheta, spiderkitten, shockwave, michaelcela, jjacek, MadameMaracas, gabbypanacek, BigMonkey, thraxis, CoyotePace, Eladrienne, (and me!).

Once upon a time, in
Plurkland, some folks conspired to
write a five word story,
which starts with the words
“Once upon a time, in
Plurkland,” some folks conspired to
write a non-recursive story
but failed miserably, as suddenly
and to that end, we
were ginormous doof balls who
have nothing better to do
than write stories about ourselves
in a 5 word format,
when we should be working
out how best to make
a million dollars just by
plurking and blogging and then
taking a nap. Speaking of
napping, I need to get
a fish and go to
the bicycle store to buy
a tank to put them
inside for our battle against
cuttlefish invaders of the north!

The vicious cuttlefish have been
building a stronghold in the
nearby warehouse where they have
stockpiled large amounts of green
plasma, krill in salt water,
and several pairs of old
breeches, coated with a strange
yet delicious layer of meringue
which attracts many flies, from
big flies to small flies.

A knock on the door
distracts everyone from the flies.

The door opens abruptly, revealing
nothing. The door shuts again
and a large BOOM is
seen, microphone swaying wildly, as
grips & best boys scramble,
the boom operator keels over,
tipping the dolly cart over
and ruining the whole shot.

"CUT" shouted the A.D.,
making the foley artist cringe.

“(Odd that they're on set)”
said jjacek in parenthesis, wondering
where the fourth wall went,
as a whole world opens
up, revealing that it was
little more than a badly
written parody of real life
mired in confusion, puns and
strangely out of place characters,
yet somehow finding humor in
life is always important,
the masses of vicious cuttlefish
observed as they ransacked and
wrote a five word story
with some help from a
man in a green leotard
covered in white question marks
known as The Riddler, who
cackled maniacally, prancing about while
wearing a raw tuna fish,
the scent of which attracted
many large, hairy, purple
otters bent upon world domination!

Meanwhile, in another part of
the story, verbs languished unused.

Perhaps we should write a
handwritten letter of condolence to
the mayor, stating that we
keep writing the story anyway,
whether or not its cohesive
because it is great fun
and always seems to end,
especially when the robots arrive,
laser beams a'firing, stomping down.

"Oh no! I've been hit!"
cried a passerby, falling down!

The robots stomped on the
otters, leaving purple fuzzy smears
all over the road. It
started to rain, bleeding purple
which went into the drains
and dripped down on the
rats congregated at the opening
who were anxious for fresh
performance of the Otter Orchestra's
toccata and fugue in five
minutes after finding a suitable
bass fiddle, flute & tuba
playing aardvark, which was not
an easy task, as you
find they want more money
to buy off marauding cuttlefish.

The multi-talented aardvark population
wondered if it was time
to see what the cuttlefish
on top of that tiny
echindeas were gathering, preparing to
storm the beaches of France.
but the waves were rough
so they all gave up
and started a new story!

Tenebrous' 5 Word Stories - Number 2

See the original Plurk conversation here!

Many thanks to: Tenebrous, Loaf, GingerSho, rotemu, rheta, spiderkitten, shockwave, michaelcela, jjacek, MadameMaracas (and me!).

It was dark. All around

the cheese factory on the

seventh floor, many people had

started hunting the giant mice

who had, in recent times,

started kidnapping the factory workers

who smelled of cheese, and

used by the mice for

keeping the rats inside the

local McDonalds. The mice hunters

wear jingly bells on their

private parts, hoping to keep

them from bouncing from the

ceiling and abducting them. Meanwhile,

in another part of town,

the giant mice eating buttplug

also known as Charles Cat,

was donning his superhero outfit

made entirely out of latex

which was black, of course

except for several small patches

made of linolium. This helped

a lot when he tried

to stick to kitchen tables.

Alarmed by the call of

nature, he quick rushed to

answer the door and let

nature in. "Trouble", she said.

Suddenly, a time rift occurred

five giant purple cats appeared

followed by the Doctor and

followed by the Doctor and

followed by another docter

and a giant pepperbox squawking

"Beware of the fish", and

a gaggle of little cuttlefish

swim through the air, oblivious

to the need for narrative.

Back at the cheese factory,

the two ripe camemberts thought

about the impending mice attack,

and girded their cheesy loins.

The Brie was running in

shedding big dollops of itself


The factory workers hurriedly tried

to cool down the cheeses,

huffing, puffing to no avail

watching in terror as suddenly

the cheeses came to life.

"Sweet Jesus on a Cracker!"

exclaimed a small random child

in the corner nibbling on

a leftover factory worker earlier

seen bribing a police officer

because he was Morris Dancing

without a license nor care.

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Tenebrous' 5 Word Story

Plurk is, according to its front page, "a place that lets you publish and share your thoughts emo-ness, #^@%!*%(& and loves." It's very similar to Twitter, but with the added advantage that each post can have a series of follow-up plurks, forming a conversation.

Last night, Tenebrous started a "5 word story", in which each person, in turn, adds 5 words to the story. We thought it would be fun to share the end result with everyone, so here it is:

He turned his back and
looked out of the window
and gasped, for outside was
a Rickrolling Plurk Twitter Whore,
wearing only a diaphanous gown
and a large, blue, fluffy
t-shirt with chains and bells,
blinging her way down to
her dead friend's funeral ceremony.

But then, along the way,
the wind lifted her skirt
and to the surprise of
the tall, elderly gentleman nearby,
the woman was wearing only
a string of pearls thong.

The gentleman stopped and said,
"Excuse me miss, but do
you know if those are
kumquats? If so may I
please check them for ripeness?"

The woman smiled, and said,
“My dear sir, why I
really don't believe these are
kumquats, however I worry that
they haven't been squeezed in
quite some time would you
be so kind as to
touch them, but be gentle?”

She grinned shyly, touched his
arm and led him to
a quiet spot around the
corner, out of sight of
the officer on the corner
who seems to be watching.

The gentleman felt something stir;
turned around to find that
another young woman watched them
from behind a bush, although
she clearly was quite aroused
and wearing nothing but a
smile, umbrella and also a
pair of shiny rain boots
that reached all the way
to the top of her
white, ribbon-trimmed, lacy and
pink knee protectors. She said,
“I have a small brown
mole just behind my right
knee that seems to itch
whenever she is excited or
the moon is full or
I open this umbrella.” She
then proceeded to lift and
open her umbrella with a wink,
when out from inside fell
something small and black and
shiny, yet glowing an odd
unearthly shade of yellow-green
spinning slowly, floating gently to
where he proceeded to take
photos with it. The camera
already held special photos of
his young, gold digging wife
who was away with her
mining company on business. He
knew the time was now
from the built in clock.

In the photos she is
in a rather compromising position
posed with ducks, chickens and
doing fowl deeds. He thought
I might care to join
blackmail would be quite possible
if the angle's are right.

Then again, art galleries might
call the police if they
liked men in uniforms.

Then the gentleman noticed that
the two women were suddenly
interrupted by the appearance of
three blind mice and a
seeing eye dog. "Zounds!" cried
the pearl-thonged woman, who
clambered up the nearest tree
in hopes of escaping them.

The blind mice squeaked and
ran up her bare legs
gnawing on her pearled thong
, which suddenly came loose and
cascaded down her thighs landing
on the ground, revealing her
odd lack of genitalia. She
blushed and covered herself up.

But not before the gentleman
revealed that he too was
lacking in the genitalia department.

The mice ran down her
leg in utter disgust when
a dog ran up and
stuck out his long tongue
wetly slurping the gentleman's hand
although, they were strangely aroused.

It was getting late, and
he was late for tea.

The old gentleman whipped out
a PDA and checked his
supply list. IM'd his dealer,
and arranged a delivery of
four small but perfectly formed
cheeses, perfect for covering in
a warm fluffy dog blanket
before reading them a story
about a man who turned
his back and looked out
on a sea of lost
blind mice and umbrellas. I
wonder if this story will
ever bloody reach it's natural


...cause it's an addictive format...
which lends itself to many
many many many many many
yet very few occurrences of
actual intelligence. In fact, it's
almost anti-intelligence in the way
that it keeps going from
bad to worse. However if
one of the three blind
umbrella holding mice were to
suddenly disappear in a cloud of
foul, noxious smelling gas, then
my boss is around. This
is probably going to end
sooner rather than later!
If only there was a
sequel in the pipeline, that
would make it easier to
make a sequel!

Many thanks to Tenebrous for starting this, and to all those that contributed, namely: Rammi, MadameMaracas, jjacek, sdohrn, ArminasX, Michaelcela, Damien Fate, gabbypanacek, Argent, spiderkitten, toniroffo, BigMonkey and myself.

You can see the original Plurk thread here.

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Introducing Dame Montana Blackmountain

Ladies and Gentlemen, furries and tinies, those in the back and you over there. It is my most honoured privilege to introduce to you a lady who has been an inspiration to me. Drinking only the finest vintage champagne from flawless crystal, she radiates elegance from her Manolo Blahniks to her coiffured Nicky Clarke locks. Please put your hands together for that most respected of mademoiselles, most revered of senoritas, the one, the only, Dame Montana Blackmountain!

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Kota's Who

If you haven't seen Horton Hears a Who yet, I thoroughly recommend it. In the meantime, feel free to play around with my very own Who!

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Second Life Quotes

I keep a notecard in my inventory in Second Life which is full if quotes I've picked up over the past year or so. I decided it was about time to share these with you all, but to save too much embarrassment, I'm not telling you who said them (except that most of them are Tene's)! Enjoy...

"Why is it, all the most exciting things happen to me, while i'm not there?"

"Is it called 'taking advantage' when i'm going 'c'mon then'?"

"I know its big, but i find it manageable."

"Carry on any lower and you'd have poked me in the hard."
"Wood flooring"

"It was just a big something shooting across before me"

"Meanwhile, i appear to be jammed on a coconut"

"Tene has a good set of balls "

"Mmm i'm hungry for beavers...I think that's what that is"

"I'm doing a series of nude ladies"

"Yeah, don't want the condom to accidentaly "go off"..."

"Doods, I have big pants!! And they amuse me greatly!"

"I'm gonna die, you two are so adorable, just shoot me full of cute why don't you, im'a OD"

"Hey. I can be adorable when im not wearing black or bound in leather......"

"I'm a horse, of coarse I have hairy legs"

"Oh hey! look... my coat tails are twisted... so are jonnee's danglies"

"Do you have to be sooo tiny?"

"Have you noticed tho, I'm stuck in a position like I'm about to drop a major log"

"His banana hammock is like a train wreck. ya cant look away."

"Everyone is naked and gay."

"My balls are much more suited to this"

"I have one attachment I keep well polished thank you."

"Damn...haven't had mine polished in ages"

"Ooooh my ring is on fire"

Monday, 16 June 2008


I scrub up pretty well, even if I do say so myself!

Friday, 6 June 2008

Exploring The World

Sometimes the best thing about Second Life is the ability to go somewhere new and just randomly wander around. Tenebrous and I do this quite often and we've come across some truly beautiful areas.

"Beautiful" is a very subjective term, however and something almost impossible to quantify in any meaningful way, but you'll know if you see something that fits the description.

Capturing the beauty of something in SL is much easier than in RL, so there's no excuse not to get out there and get some photos - exactly what Tene and I like to do!

Most recently we came across a sim called The World, which easily illustrates my point. There are no flowers, or animals here. No bubbling brooks or lapping waves. What you will find, however, are cobbled streets, narrow alleyways and a dock complete with sailboat. Stunning in it's simplicity, we happily spent a few hours just exploring and taking pictures.

You can see the full set in my flickr.